Off The Top Of My Head: Book Review

Title: The Key to a Loving and
Lasting Relationship by Dr. Sonja Snyman

Author: Dr. Sonja Snyman

Date of Publication: 2012

Publisher: Thomas Stein

As the title suggests, this book looks at how healthy long-term relationships become so, and how they differ from relationships that are unhealthy or toxic. It highlights some of the problems that exist in many relationships today, and identifies patterns that emerge within them.


Some of the topics that are dealt with include: how relationship expectations change with time, i.e. that what we want from a relationship in our 20’s and 30’s generally differ from what we anticipate in our 40’s and 50’s; that some relationships can survive infidelity; the importance of identifying our fighting styles within our relationship; the nature of boundaries in our relationship and looking at the three levels of a relationship (content, dynamic and foundation)


The book is divided into two parts: the first looks at the nature of long-term elationships. It addresses some of the myths that have been created about what a ‘perfect’ relationship should be or look like, for example the ‘happily-ever-after‘ myth as well as some of the varying dynamics that emerge in many relationships. It also
explores couple’s fighting dynamics, which may surprise people as they may
pinpoint their own fighting styles against the ones described in the book.


Concepts are discussed from various perspectives, including anecdotal stories from the author’s professional and theoretical experiences. The author addresses relationship issues in an authentic way, never veering too far from the precept that if you want a successful relationship, it does take two to tango and that we must take ownership.


This book is suitable for both psychological professionals, as well as the general public. Its concise discussions of theories and practises allow for the book to be accessible to the reader.  The lay-out of the book is also user-friendly, with short chapter that are clearly demarcated and helpful case vignettes from the author’s own practice, it is easily digestible and practical.


It also comes at the very nice price of R150 (Exclusive Books, South Africa)



Filed under Psychology

3 Responses to Off The Top Of My Head: Book Review

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  2. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is great blog. A fantastic read. I’ll certainly be back.

  3. It isn’t always very easy to remain positive, but bordering myself with wonderful friends and a suportive family members always can make it less complicated. I remind myself frequently that every day can be a reward, and we are fortunate to wake up every single early morning and consider portion in it…

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